To be full time student with two kids, husband and home to be manage is quite stressful and challenging for me. Sometimes, i haven't talk to husband in a day. Get sleep with tiredness and don't ever say "I love You" or "good nite". The tired feeling become routine and i cant take it anymore. But who am I to really do the "I cant take it anymore" However it is, i have to face it because this is the decision that i have made. I tried so much to manage the time but my body sometime rejected when i fell so tired until i cant do nothing. What a such chaos in my life rite now.
Having work and master degree rite now is not the same. Working is not 24 hours burden but master degree is 24 hours of problem to think in the head. But it is so frustrated when i don't meet the solution for all the problem. Time after time, i now is in the final year but i have 1 part of the research that cannot be done..the progress of the part is almost NOTHING..
I love to be with my kids and husband. I know tandem nursing is very footworn. Sometime i felt like "BF machine"..Huhu :). and the tired feeling is crawling all over my body. With fulfilling the kids need alternately and non stopping, i really dont have time to myself and husband. Sometime i have to bath quickly(mandi kerbau), eat quickly(sampai nak tercekik) and almost of the time i felt i am 24 hours is running in my house.
I have drawn a schedule for husband and i to follow. But sometime its get messy when my energy is running low because of tandem BF, the dizziness of master and the crying of the kids. I wish i have more time and the most important i have enough energy to run my self.
Oh Allah the Almighty..please give me the strength to finish my master and good health fo me to be good mother and wife.
i remember what aishah have said : after finishing the VIVA VOCE the first thing to do is CRYING to let go all the burden..Wohaaa!!!!!